I’m back after a Christmas day break and I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Now on to the next one.

Last year I made two new years resolutions that stuck. While I didn’t write them down or really tell anybody about them, I chose to improve myself by consistently lifting weights and by quitting smoking. I quit last December and I started using my gym membership (that was auto-deducting from my account monthly) shortly thereafter.

But those were boring improvements and were obvious steps that I should have made long ago. And I have a couple of new resolutions I will be making this year. Afterall- when looking into the Mirror of Erised, only “The happiest man on earth would look into the mirror and see only himself, exactly how he is.

  1. Stop hitting on bartenders.
  2. This includes bartenders at America’s best casual dining restaurant and bar, Chili’s.
  3. Learn how to use numeric bullet-points.
  4. Increase mobility by doing joint specific (hips, shoulders, knees) workouts (boring.. I know).

Let me explain that first one. I have always been a sucker for bartenders. I basically pay them to talk to me. It’s only one step below falling in love with a stripper (there’s always one guy in the group that makes that mistake… but thankfully its not me).

While there is nothing wrong with them as people (in fact most are sociable and extroverted personalities, and they can put up with drunk assholes), they work SHIT hours. And they will always work SHIT hours. Which means if I ever DID fall in love with a bartender, when would I date her? 3 pm on a tuesday? 5am on a sunday? The one day off a week they get (which is never the weekend).

Also they have already peaked financially.

Feel free to leave your resolutions in the comments, or tweet at me, or facebook me, or text me, so I can criticize encourage you.

It’s going to be another busy week. And just like my lovable loser Washington Wizards, we are not focusing on wins and losses right now, we are focusing on the process. So make steps and build on what you have right now. No more bartenders. Increase mobility. Learn how to use bullet-points.

And enjoy Chili’s for what it is.