Reader @Schwiggles says

<<- Douchiest tweet and faggiest blogpost of the year award right here.

Its 2012, don’t you know douchebaggery has gone mainstream? Homophobic slurs, on the other hand- NOT SO MUCH.

The only contextually appropriate use for the word ‘fag’ is standing outside a pub in the UK and bumming a smoke (‘mind if I bum a fag?’). Surgeon General says that smoking while you’re drinking ‘doesn’t count’.

Reader @allennatt says

looked back at ur old blogs. u mentioned@girlofmydreams. Apparently ur dream girl has lower back tattoos and whiteytighties

This is in reference to texting and dating.

@girlofmydreams really messed up. NOBODY dreams of lower back tattoos. Just go to the strip club for that. @GIRLOFEVERYDAYATCAMELOTGENTLEMENSCLUB

@allennatt also says

yeah she started a killer online dating site for people who enjoy wearing bandannas and belts with the metal pointy pyramids

This made me think back to middle school when I used to listen to very bad punk rock music. Even back then when I would go to the Vans Warped Tour every summer I felt like I couldn’t pull off the metal pointy pyramids belt look. However, I do think I can pull off whatever hairstyle Leonardo Dicaprio is rocking in his latest movie.

/not ready to watch J. Edgar. That might be too radical of a change for me.

One more post in a row that features allen natt and I’m changing the title of this blog to Shit Allen Natt Says (featuring douchey workout advice).

Speaking of which… Squatted 255 3×5. Felt very unfocused. Benched 195 3×3. Did barbell rows 165 3×5. And I did curls. ITS SATURDAY- TIME TO CATCH A PUMP. If I get around to writing tomorrow it will be a post that is both timely, appropriately outlined, and features absolutely nothing about working out…

Texting has come up a lot in conversation lately and I swear it has nothing to do with me steering the conversation toward this or trying to rationalize my anti-social habits. A girlfriend of mine says she actually prefers texting with her boyfriend because his reading comprehension is better than listening and he retains the information better.

This seems intuitive to me. Some people learn better by reading. Additionally, if someone like that reads the text then they also have time to formulate a relevant response.

Asking people out in texts also came up. Someone said that its easier to say no in text or ignore it or whatever and that if you call and put someone on the spot it is more difficult to say no. That would only work if she doesn’t screen your call. AND EVERYONE SCREENS CALLS. This isn’t a 1980s rom com where everyone is in bed talking on their landlines and have no caller id.

Ideally the best way to ask someone out when you are unsure of what their interest level is would be to ask them out in person.

@LuvLifeCoach now follows me. Good. I’m the Hitch of texting.

/douchey. but thats ok. gone mainstream.