I’m going to let you savour that without any context.

Jessie says

Also, you really are a SoCal boy trapped in DC. We have sunny warm winters here and lots of nice girls who won’t break your heart.

But then I would be living life 3 hours later in time. You should have timezone envy. Eastern US. Shit gets done before you Cali-folk even turn on Jillian Michaels in the morning. I have lunch al fresco envy though. Ideally South Carolina would stop being ass-backwards and build a viable economy that provides a growing job market. But considering they refuse to take even marginally progressive steps (SUCH AS REMOVING THE CONFEDERATE FLAG FROM THE STATE CAPITAL GROUNDS WHICH WOULD APPEASE THE NAACP SO THEY WOULD LIFT THEIR OFFICIAL BOYCOTT OF SOUTH CAROLINA TOURISM) that probably won’t happen in my lifetime.

Jack says

I don’t think mikes heart is being broken. I think he is just slowly becoming self aware that he is patrick bateman, but instead of huey lewis and the news he loves rom-coms.

I think it’s more like this

I definitely think I’m going to end up as one of those old people that starts to lose it and begins to accidentally reveal to my children and grandchildren the names of foreign women I loved that were not their mother.

Me: “Where’s Katrin?”

Ramsey, Rocco, and Renee: “Who’s Katrin?”

Me: “Who are you?”

Ramsey, Rocco, and Renee: “Your children, dad. Mom’s name is Amy”

Me: “Oh. Forget what I said then.”

Also, apparently, I will be someone that names their children preppy names for girls and bars I worked at for guys. Lucky my fictional fourth child was never born. Because, his name would be ‘Chubby’ (or ‘doctor’ or ‘Two by Four’).


This may or not become a regular addition to the blog format. I’m going to look back at previous posts and critique/make fun of/figure out what the fuck I was thinking when I wrote the post. Let’s start with my first post. Shall we?


That’s a terrible title. Really grabbed your audience’s attention with that one. One exclamation point would not have been enough. Three stands out. However, given the opportunity, I would take Murray’s advice and suggest a fourth exclamation point for emphasis.

As I mention in my profile- this is my attempt to document and keep track of my progress toward a variety of goals in my life. I wanted to maintain some data and information on how I have been improving and how I have felt during the process.

Well this is just not a compelling subject to write about or to read. Let’s think of useful locations to store data. A database. Excel spreadsheet. A note book. A black board. A window pane if you are John Nash… A blog is not a useful database.

When I say improving it could be toward a number of goals, including but not limited to:

  • Weightlifting
  • Golf
  • Performance at work
  • crap I really don’t have any more goals

Note that these are not actually goals but are activities or vague measurements such as performance. Also I show very little grasp at how to effectively use bullet points. Stream of conscience bullet point writing. This could catch on. BLOGGIN’ IN ALL CAPS Y’ALL!!!

If I can update this daily I should have a good amount of information to fall back on. For example if I am really hungover then maybe I can check this and see that I updated the night before with a post that said: “JAGER BOMMMMB POWER SHOTS FTW!!!!!!!111″ and hopefully I will understand that my decisions have consequences.

Update this daily. HAHAHHAHAHAH… So young and ambitious.

This is a terrible first post. it’s fine.

NEW GOAL: find a voice, find an audience.

At least I acknowledged it. Self-aware has got to count for something. This was the first actual goal set. Well done.


Last post for a week. Going to Vail. See you next time.