I can’t remember the exact phrasing she used because it was St. Patrick’s day. But my mind translated it to mean “You should stay away from me because I am crazy.” I’m sure I replied with something brilliant. I probably said “oh yeah?” Perfect.

I definitely should have quipped that she should watch out for me because I’m a bad boy. I’m dangerous.

I’ve been writing for five minutes and this post has already gotten out of control. If my life was a movie this scene could play out a number of ways.

In a comedy she would say “you should stay away from me because I’m trouble and crazy” and I’ll say “yeah I don’t want any part of that! Crazy girl…” SMASH CUT to wedding alter.

In a drama she would tell me to stay away and I will find this irresistable and charming. I’ll reply with something suave such as “tell that to all the other guys, I’m not listening to it”. (not my best effort… thankfully it did not play out as a drama) and then instead of smash cut its a fade out to black, white text explaining time has elapsed, and then we would be in the midst of a realistically shitty relationship.

A dramedy would play out differently. I don’t know how it would turn out. I don’t really want to find out either. Gotta live my life like a light-hearted rom-com not some sort of mumblecore movie with realistic dialogue and genuine consequences. EFF that.

TALES FROM THE WEIGHTROOM

So I have been trying to regain strength in my legs and have been focusing extremely hard on knees out and full ROM for squats. That is the context you need.

Went to the weightroom today and watched this meathead overload the squat rack with weight and proceed to do half squats with his knees caving in during every single rep. Before the set he was bragging to his friend that he once maxed out at 450. But this was only 315. So after the set (after I finished cringing and wincing) I said to him “your knees were caving in,” to which he replied “yeah, they do that.”

That’s so perfect. They do that. They suuuuuure do.

Knees cave in.

“His ACL popped!”

“Yeah, they do that.”

THAT DOESN’T MEAN ITS GOOD, BUD! I wasn’t complimenting your knee caving in talents.

So, that’s the last time I speak up in the gym.

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