Archives for the month of: April, 2012

It brings me some sadness to inform the small group of loyal readers that I will be suspending this blog indefinitely. When I started this I did not know how it would develop and I stumbled along the way. Eventually it became an outlet for me to document my progress toward reaching goals, choosing new goals, telling stories from my life, and seeing how they relate to popular movies.

I tried to entertain in the best way I could by being honest and as much as possible- relatable.

Unfortunately, the greatest happiness I derived from this blog was reporting about my progress toward my goals and currently I am amidst a setback in that regard.

I can still write about other aspects of my life but it feels stale and repetitive.

I have to live this but you don’t need to read it. I can only imagine how boring it seems.

I CAN report that I am no longer talking to the “crazy” girl and am pursuing another girl. But I fear that this will lead to similiar blog prose. So until I can get back on track toward my primary goals this is me signing out.

HOWEVER… I encourage everyone to stay active on Twitter.

Twitter is one big party. Texting may be private but @replies on twitter are for when you’re speaking to someone at a party but don’t mind if others overhear and chime in.

Our lives our getting more complicated and our responsibilities take over a greater percentage of our leisure time. But the great thing about the internet, social networking, and smartphones, is the platform and ease at which to reach out to friends. This is comforting.

I encourage everyone to not shun social networks because they are nostalgic for some time period that they don’t remember. Instead embrace it for the way we can maintain friendships that otherwise would have felt distant and eventually forgotten.

In 1900 if you got married and I moved to Maryland then one of us would get smallpox and that would be the fuckin end of it.

I loved trying to open up, practicing writing, and making jokes. And for the few people that commented- I did appreciate it!  If I relaunch or reactivate I hope to be more focused thenatically while remembering what you all did or did not enjoy about this blog. (More memes).

Still growing older but not up.



This is a short post written from my phone. It’s basically my apology for being so melodramatic on my twitter account. I went over my MRI with my doctor and he told me I should be able to golf in a brace in 2-3 weeks and resume other sports in a brace in 4-6 weeks. So its good news really.

Absolutely nothing like poor Lance Harbor in Varsity Blues.

Now for a bitching rant. Hey Washington DC assholes! The handicap elevator is reserved for handicapped people. Hey Washington DC assholes! The handicap seats on metro are reserved for handicapped people. Hey assholes! If my leg is in a full immobilizing brace then that means I can’t bend my knee, please don’t deliberately kick me! Walk around. And fat assholes, make a goddamn adjustment to your walking trajectory so that you do not collide with my goddamn leg while I am standing still!

Commuters in this town move quickly and have very little patience with tourists standing on the left side of the escalator. I get that. But don’t fucking run into someone because you are too impatient to br courteous to others.

Unless you are hot. 🙂

I have to write tonight. I know its late. I know I have drank several scotch and waters while watching The New Girl on fox. But I just concluded one of the longest, most maddening, text conversations of my life. And I decided… while feeling the effects of Johnny Walker Red… that I need an Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind service- but for my phone (and email and facebook).

I mean that I really wish that instead of writing this blog post I could hit a button and while I sleep someone will come into my house. Take this girls phone number. Call AT& T and block her number. Delete her number. Delete her texts. Block her on facebool. Maybe even delete my account (I’m sure I would end up re-friending). And block her email.

Basically make it as inconvenient as possible for her or I to get in touch with each other. FUCK. As I typed that sentence I got a “goodnight!!??!!??” text because I guess I ignored the last. I responded. Why aren’t you guys assembling venture capital to get our Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless iPhone service off the ground!? I need you. Help me @jack40s. You’re my only hope.

Sorry. I just got sidetracked. What was I saying?

Anyway. It’s been a while you guys! I have been jotting down notes that I was hoping would lead to blog posts. But most of them make no sense or really do not work for the theme of this blog.

Examples include:

“Why aren’t there moon bounces at the bottom of elevator shafts in case of an accident?”

“Who’s in charge of regulating water park slide designs?”

Apparently I wrote down some relevant notes though. “Texting with crazy girl [sic] requires liberal use of the backspace key”

“You will need final drafts not first drafts”

And apparently a videogame reference:

“I feel like I am stuck on petty drama level. And until I learn how to beat the drama boss I can’t move on to the next level (mo money mo problems level followed by adult life, choices, and consequences level).”

I should probably catch you up on what is happening that has lead to all of this. I am sort of dating/talking to a girl that I ran into on st. pattys day. She’s insane.

She’s the kind of girl that freaks out if a picture shows up on facebook without her authorization. For example a picture slightly less sexy than this really infuriated her. Replace Narith obvi.

She doesn’t want anyone to know she’s seeing me unless she’s the one that tells them. And then it will only be a half-truth at best. She acts one way in public and then goes crazy when people comment on it. And that’s all fine. Not ideal. Definitely not girlfriend material. But the problem I have with her came in this last set of exchanges.

“Based on what we talked before I just don’t want to screw you over, in any way. I like you”

and then later

“I know I like you and that I don’t want to start really liking you. Specially now!”

I replied “You are going to screw me over by not being honest with me. Not by liking me too much”

And that really is the crux of this situation and a lot of previous situations in my life. Girls screw a lot of guys over because they’re never truly honest. And I mean way too many half-truths. Just tell me I don’t want to really like you because I dont want a boyfriend. Hell. I literally said that to her only I said girlfriend.

I said I don’t want a girlfriend. Which means what we are doing will ideally not lead to a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. So how is any of this a problem? She wants to have her cake and eat it to.

She wants me but she wants others to think shes not. She wants me to be all about her but doesn’t want a relationship. She doesn’t want a relationship but doesn’t want me to say I don’t want a relationship.

I feel like there could be rich case studies if any sort of Dr. Will Smith Hitch Love Phd wanted to sort through this string of text messages. Or atleast a couple of episodes of a mediocre sitcom.

Also I hurt my knee. If I get around to writing within the next 3 weeks…. It will probably be me comparing my life to either Just Wright or Varsity Blues.