I suppose one of the original purposes of this blog was to document how I feel after I eat or drink certain things. Or how it effects my training or health. I think the example I gave was Jagerbombs. This anecdote fits that criteria.

I went to a party Saturday that was a mix of Americans and international people. At one point we were admiring a Brazilian liquor bottle and eventually we gave it a whiff. Smelled like death. Poison! It had a lobster on the label. What does that even mean!? Naturally, this did not prevent me from accepting someone’s offer to make me a cocktail.

So this dude starts muddling lime wedges into ice and then pours the liquor. And pours. And pours. Then he takes one of those 5 pound bags of sugar and just turns it upside down and dumps it. And dumps. And dumps. Not into a vat. Not into a tumbler. But into individual solo ups (not your Red Solo Cup party cups but the smaller cocktail solo cups). Then he muddled/stirred some more.

I watched him pour a bag of granulated sugar into fermented sugar cane liquor and at no point did I think this might be a bad decision.

Long story short, I suffered a fate worse than death on Sunday. A crippling, tormenting, entire day center of my forehead migraine, and non-stop am I going to throw up from the pain of this hangover, or not, feeling.

Not sure where I was going with that. But I will leave with you one piece of advice. Avoid liquors that have pictures of crustaceans on the bottle.

Recently I have a had a friend ask me for advice about how to pursue a guy she is interested in and other general dating/courting/texting advice. Every single time she asks me what to do I want to write back “Just watch He’s Just Not That Into You more,” before realizing that would be a pretty jerkish response.

So instead I just quote the movie.

Still can’t figure out why anyone would solicit advice from me on this subject. Definitely talk to more qualified people.

I mean I can help you text girls or guys but this really should be a sink or swim skill. I will offer advice as a friend but I really should offer a caveat with it. You are talking to someone that thought it was a good idea to text ‘did you have to?’ wait for a response and then text ‘did you have to let it linger.” For absolutely no reason at all.

/did I retread that joke? Couldn’t think of a more blatant example of poor form texting.

Any other liquors you can think of that make you suffer a fate worse than death? Anyone respond to friends entirely in movie titles? “Why won’t he text me?” “He’s just not that into you.” “How’d last night go?” “Failure to launch.”