Sometimes this blog has a negative cost benefit analysis for me. The work to generate content doesn’t reward me enough. And by reward I, of course, mean flattering twitter replies. “Readable” was a pretty sweet mention though. I need to turn all of these posts into an E-Book so that the back cover will say “This blog is actually becoming readable”.

I really went off the deep end this past week generating custom memes to respond to text messages. It got to the point where I was watching The Princess Bride and any good quote or humorous movie frame either became a meme on my phone or in my mind. Thankfully these will come in handy.

Cheesy response to girls when they ask me to do something? Check.

Good meme to use in case something is funny? Check.


Should have made that LOLz.

Jessie says

Frankly I’d prefer to be asked out via text. And Time Traveling / Space rom coms are where its at. Cannot wait.

This is why people shouldn’t publish in absolutes. Not everyone will agree on your top 10 things guys should NEVER send in texts. But I guess the polarizing nature of that sort of headline will generate more pageviews than “Top 10 things guys sometimes should not send in texts, in my opinion, unless I actually really like the guy, in which case obviously I don’t really care what he sends, but appreciate that he is thinking about me and maintains open communication”.

Jack says

Just hit 345# on box squats. My ego could not possibly be bigger. Definitely going to ask a girl out via meme ASAP lol.

Awesome job on the squats. Cray Jelly.. I eagerly await the results of your first meme proposal. You are a better man than me. By which I mean worse man than me.

Jessica says (in response to Today Was A Good Day)

This made me sad. However, I maintain that foreign girls do not have enough command of the English language to be sarcastic.

You are probably right about that. But it is refreshing to have conversations that aren’t sarcastic. I think I’m going to try to reduce the sarcasm I use as well. The only girl I want to be sarcastic is Lizzy Caplan. All day, Lizzy! All day.

Jessica also says

Just thought of something else which I’m sure already occurred to you, but if you learn Portuguese you can totally “Love Actually” your dream girl!

You are referring to this gem: “Beautiful Aurelia, I’ve come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person – because I hardly knows you – but sometimes things are so transparency, they don’t need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England. ”

Sounds about right. And the thought not only has crossed my mind but seems to be marching in place in my mind.

Love, Actually is full of grand romantic gestures. For example, if you need to confess your love for your friend’s wife then it’s got a scene for you. If you need to propose to a woman you hardly know in Portuguese- bases are covered. If you need to learn how to make small talk while naked with a stranger- yep, Love, Actually has your back. And if you need to learn the appropriate way to dance alone to pointer sisters, then your boy Hugh Grant will show you the way.

Workout Section

This section will no longer be a log of workouts. I have decided to keep this in a journal. Now it will just be the highlights, lowlights, and stupid gym dialogue.

Today I did 2 reps of deadlifts at 385 which was a PR. But after the second one a trainer, who is actually a nice guy, said to me

trainer: “is it max out day? You had some rounded back but if you can walk then I guess you’re ok”

me: “was it my lower back or upper back?”

trainer: “definitely your upper back, I couldn’t tell about your lower back”

me: “well upper back doesn’t matter.”

Thank you for the pointless observation! Damn it, that’s sarcasm. No thanks for the pointless observation.